right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
Randomize
