dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
Randomize
