So drunk, too bad you don't want this
I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
Randomize
