Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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