Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
My vagina is very pro this idea
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
Randomize
