she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
Randomize
