I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
Randomize
