Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
Randomize
