You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
Randomize
