I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
I just woke up covered In blood, I have cuts all over my body, I can't find my clothes from last night, I'm still wasted, i'm pretty sure I have a sprained ankle, and the best part is, I have absolutely no recollection of what led to this. THAT'S why vodka is the greatest drink in the world.
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
Randomize
