theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
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I feel like death gave me a hand job
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
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Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
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