My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
Do vagina's smell?
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
Randomize
