I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize
