I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
Please save me from this creative non fiction class. I just wrote a paper about how I spend unhealthy amounts of time with my cat.
I spend unhealthy amounts of time watching RuPaul's Drag Race.
I referred to the cat as amicable.
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
