Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
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