whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
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