Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
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