god i wish i could take a shit and a shower at the same time
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
if i died would you start the facebook group?
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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