Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
We need a shit load of segways right now
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
Randomize
