i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
Randomize
