whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
Randomize
