Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
You made out with two different species that night
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
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