just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
Randomize