It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
you didnt know i had herpes?
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
Im just a social blackout drinker.
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
Randomize
