we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
Randomize
