At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
Randomize
