Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
Randomize
