Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
Randomize
