I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
Randomize
