dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
Randomize
