go do what you do best...puke behind churches
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
Be still, my beating vagina.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
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