im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
She took me to ER. She says thought it was a squirtgun filled with vodka and she was 'marking me for later.' Thank god it's a flesh wound, and we're cool and going to date.
gtg, the cops are here
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
Randomize