Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
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