remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
you're hired as official boob wrangler
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
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