I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
Randomize