It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Randomize
