I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
they need to just BURY HIM!
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
Randomize
