I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
Randomize
