Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
Randomize
