how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
Randomize
