I bet he comes in French.
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
Randomize
