I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
how does that bad decision feel?
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
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