I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
Fun holiday story for you: Alex and I went out drinking. She left. I needed a ride home. Met this dude and told him to drive my car back. Once at my house, I made him take out my dog and then apologized for not wanting to make out with him. I said, let me go see if my roommate is interested and then I slept in Alex's bed all night.
20 bucks says he was an actual leprechaun
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
Randomize
