I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
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