We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
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