i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
Randomize
