She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
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