it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize
