Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
Randomize
