i permit you to call me
Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
Just got a call from someone claiming to be my son . How do I initiate a conversation. Tell me about the last eighteen years. And by the way who is your mom again?
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
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