bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
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