Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
Randomize
