i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Randomize
