note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
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