the highlight of my day was when my dad called me when I was watching porn and I muted it instead of pausing it.
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
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