I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
Randomize
