Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
Randomize
