The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
Randomize
