i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize
