i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
then he tried to convert me to islam
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
I had to cum in my sink.
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