I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
Randomize
