Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
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