no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
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